Vlog 2- Purrs and CBD

For those unfamiliar with the miracle that is CBD read the Huffington post article here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cannabidiol-cbd-a-primer_us_58b7129ee4b0ddf654246290

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Cemetery Exploring: Memorial Park Cemetery-Taft Oklahoma

This cemetery is actually for sale which is kind of awesome.  The asking price is $325,000. There seems to be a very old house smack in the middle of the cemetery. I couldn’t help but think that would be kind of awesome. Except, of course in the event of a zombie attack of the Romero variety. 


The place was easy to get to and bigger than it looks having several interesting fixtures throughout. Including a grand columbarium. 


Columbarium-A Latin word, meaning “dovecote”. So-called because the way the funerary niches are placed, side-by-side, resembles a dovecote. An indoor “cemetery” that enables people to visit throughout the year, protected from the elements. In addition to the cremation urn or urns, small objects, photographs, and even children’s drawings are also often kept in the niche.
Just in case you have never heard that word before.  You know, because it’s one of those words we use every day.

As with all else in this cemetery, just hanging out in the grass we have a giant Masonic book. 


This may be the strangest angel I’ve ever seen. Kind of looks like it’s pooping. Just a little. Into the pot below it’s little round, naked tushie.

I feel like there’s a mission here? Like Resedent Evil. Seems like there should be a key here or puzzle around this statue that gives us what we need to climb this tower.

This is by far the coolest feature on the property. It’s a random tower. Just there in the middle of the cemetery. 

Complete with plaque. 

Sudden urge to climb…. 

There should be a mission to! Ugh! Why doesn’t life have questions markers?

This was a pleasant cemetary. I have to say it was quiet, peaceful and was a relaxing walk. 

If your in the market for a cemetary, may I suggest Memorial Park? If I had a few hundred thousand in a jar in my back yard I would buy it myself! Unfortunately, dear reader probably not this year. But hey, maybe we? Who knows. 

Until next time! Happy hunting!

The Strain: A Dirty,  Dirty,  Show 

First, if were going to talk about just how very dirty this show is you have to understand phallic symbols and learn to see them. I swear by Paula Dean you will be seeing (what’s the plural of pahllic?? Phallus? Phalluses? Screw it) Penisis everywhere by the time I am finished.

Any object, as a cigar or skyscraper, that may broadly resemble or represent the penis, especially such an object that symbolizes power, as an automobile. … It is evidently, like other circular forms, a sun type, or phallic symbol.” Thank you Dictionary.com for that rousing definition!

(I mean really. Was that necessary? Gross!)
Think Washington monument, big guns, anything a man could use to say hey… check this out… ew. They are typically used to show power, potency, domination and the like. The alpha dog, big man sort of attitude. Freud says that we notice these things on a subconscious level. But Freud never met Seth Rogan.

Example: https://youtu.be/aZU4aPfq59k

-Don’t get me started on “This Is The End”-

If you haven’t already seen this show “The Strain” go watch it. The premise is vampires… kinda of.

They have 12 foot long tongues that suck the life out of people while injecting them with theWhite.” Its the stuff that makes new vampires. It’s white goo with worms in it. You know what I’m thinking here…right…. I mean… it looks like… well…

And that was the BEST picture I could find. A life giving white sticky goo -with wiggling worms in it- that come out of a 12 foot long tongue? Really Giermo Del Torro?? Really?

There are no words.

Even when Eldredge Palmer received the “White” from the Master to bring him back from the brink of death. He says “yes, yes, yes” as the Master drips the “White” from his finger.

It’s just disturbing on more than 6 levels.

It’s no secret that the movie industry, hell the world is male dominated. But the Stragoi going out and neck raping the world is more than a statement. Was this pop culture commentary intentionally done or did the producers fall asleep at the camera?

Aww. They’re so cute when they’re asleep.

Even the necktie is a phallic symbol. (Feel free to be shocked.) After its inception and popularization only the rich could really afford the little completely useless pieces of expensive cloth that simply wrapped around the neck. So it was a status symbol as well. It’s not just it’s shape or that it’s specifically a male accessory, look at where the necktie points. It literally drags the eyes kicking and screaming from the face to the groin. The more extravagant or expensive the tie, the more alpha the male wearing it. A piece of clothing that literally dominates others? That’s the definition of phallic symbol.

Neckties were actually ban in Hanover West Germany at one point because they realized that they were sexist and an accepted form of ball and chain, leg irons or reminiscen of a hang man’s rope.

At some point conflict resolution became less about who was right and more about who was more alpha. Who had the biggest necktie if you will.

Not only is the alpha male followed by men, women want the alpha male for reproductive reasons. It’s more likely the offspring of alphas will survive and survive well.

This is why I believe that the Master chooses particular Stragoi as his next body. He is the Master but he has to stay alpha. He keeps leaving Eichhorst out of the rotation. Not because they are friends but because his (what’s the word here? Tentacle maybe? Ok, we’ll go with Tentacle for now.) Because, Eichhorsts tentacle is not as … ample as say the rock star guy Bolivar?

I mean did you see the episode where Bolivar neck raped Coco from across the room? Alpha indeed.

In closing, this show is a veritable cacophony of phallic symbols, sexual innuendo and subconscious male dominance. It’s entertaining for sure. I haven’t missed an episode. And with one season left probably starting next fall you have time to catch up. And catch up you should. Content aside it’s a new and different take on vampires as parasitic life form.

What do you think, did the producers fall asleep at the camera or did they do these things on purpose? Thoughts? Ideas?

Until next time!

Memoir of a pre school dropout Part 2: Body language, facial expressions and Mars

Most people don’t know that anything in life can be taught.  Things which are foreign to autistic kids like socialization, facial expression, body language and yes sarcasm can be taught easily and effectively.  If we didn’t tell you the boys we’re autistic you wouldn’t know.  It’s not because of anything but prayer and work.  Usually at the same time.  

If you want to teach a child things like learning how to act in different situations treat it like follow the leader. Seriously, hear me out. How many times have you looked around a room and seen something was wrong,  or funny or sad?  We unconsciously take cues from others to see how to react to a given stimulus.  We’re just going to do it consciously.  I teach my kids to watch me.  If I am smiling,  they should smile. If I’m somber and quiet they should be too.  At school look at the teacher,  follow him or her.  See what others are doing and try to copy them.  It may seem a bit disingenuous at first.  I get that.  But these kids don’t know what expression or emotional response is appropriate so if they can learn to read a room,  they are probably one step ahead of everyone else simply because no one thinks to do so. Job interview,  match the bosses energy and faceial expressions.  This also gives you raport with them.  Try it.  Match someones body language and see how they react. It causes walls to come down. It’s kind of amazing. Why aren’t more people doing this?  

We looked at pictures of faces and they memorized the meanings.  Even the other day,  I saw a look and asked if he was going for “concern ” and he said “yes”.  I said “OK more eye brow”.  You gotta bunch them up in the middle to get concern.  He tried again and got it.  Why is that important? Well, how can he know what it means if he can’t do it? Try this, look at a mirror. Scrunch your eyebrows, and look. What do you want? You would see concern in the eyes but what does the rest of the face tell me? Nothing. So it’s not quite right  and unfortunately people pick up on things that are not quite right. Now think ab9ut something that bothers you. A problem or a loved one with problems. Now, what do you see? There is lip evolved, cheek,  even the little muscles under the eyes. Now, you see consern. Look at these pictures and name each of the emotions attached to them. 

And just for fun…

Me. 

Now if you’re autistic all these faces mean this to you: 

Or this. 

A whole lot of nothing. 

I realize this sounds weird as all hell but if someone wants to live in this world they can’t look like a robot.  Like Data from Star Trek.  That’s what makes him robotic! Go watch an episode,  you’ll see it.  I’ll wait…. 

OK.  See what I mean?  Zero face involvement and stiff body language.  How do we know what emotions he’s supposed to have with no facial movement of body language? 

These are crucial skills.  It’s almost like they are from another planet.  Alien visitors on earth who haven’t quite figured out the human thing yet.  Like everyone speaks English but they speak Martian so they don’t understand. We have to teach them in ways they understand to do things that better help them survive on our planet.  

For a while I sang everything like a Disneyland nightmare. At the time however,  it worked.  “Go brush your teeth” lalala..  La la.  It was crazy.  Another thing is if you give them any more than one step at a time your asking for a headache.  Just don’t. One thing to compilation before another. This can teach skills and eventually through repetition it will get better.  As long as you don’t get upset,  they won’t get upset.  Remember to breath and take a break.   

Learning their personal languages and teaching them to speak societies languages is just part of the process. Stay tuned for more. Same bat time. Same bat channel!  

Beware of Tolls!  I mean Trolls! 

What can go wrong will go wrong.  

We decided to take a trip to see a Viking carving in Heavner Oklahoma. Apparently,  there were trolls.  

After a 2 hour drive that was so boring we almost went blind and more tolls than you would believe, we became stuck waiting for a train for eeeeevvvvvvveeeeeerrrrrrrr.  

It just sat there.  

And sat there. 

Eventually, we did turn and leave but some time later when we returned it was still sitting there.  So was the white truck. 

After a short but convoluted GPS led drive later we arrived at the Rune Stone park. 

The view was lovely. 

The park was small but nice.  However, 

If your going,  don’t expect to use the restroom …. Trust me. 

Possibly worse, maybe worse,  I don’t know maybe not,  we got very lost.  Very fast.  Therefore,  I will show you how to get to the rock.  That’s…. All it is…though… A very big rock. 

Step one: Park at the building. You would think this is obviously what you would do but it isn’t. 

You want to follow the road… 

But fight the urge!!!  Go here instead. Unless you want a nature trail level 7. In which case go ahead.  Follow the road. To this: 

Otherwise go to the building:

These are outside… 

Step Two: Go to the right of the building and down the stairs.  Unless you want to go through the extremely small building in which case you will be treated to a friendly dog and the smallest gift shop in the world.  Next you see this sign. 

Step Three: Your now on a path.  Follow it. You can’t not follow it.  Seriously.  Finding it is the hard part. 

It may connect to the nature trail somehow but I’m not sure.  I didn’t want to die so I didn’t find out.  Also I have to say if you have bad knees or a bad heart DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS!!!  I’m not kidding.  These steps are rough on the knees and my heart protested quite a bit.  We had to take it slow.  Honestly,  there was a moment I thought “man this was a bad idea” but we made it.  Slow and steady.  

Here you can see down to the building the rock is housed in. The signs say it fell and lay where it was found.  

Step Three: The rock.  It says “Property of Grog” or something. 

Next to it are other rocks.  Probably says “Also property of Grog” and “Don’t touch my Mead”. 

Over all it’s a nice place,  but pack a lunch.  Or two.  The town of Heavner does the up keep and you have to go into town go get there.  It’s small.  The over look is nice but keep expectations low and be pleasantly surprised as I always say.  Stop to use the restroom before you get there and wear good shoes.  Avoid if heart or knees give you trouble and above all don’t be afraid to try something new.  Even if it’s just a 2 hour drive on a sunny day- for no other reason than that.  

Memoirs of a Preschool Dropout Part 1: Autism as still life. 

The names and places if my story have been changed to protect the innocent.  And then changed back to annoy the guilty.

To say I grew up with 2 autistic kids would be an understatement,  especially when you consider I’m their mother.  Sure, 21 is ancient by today’s “16 and pregnant” standard but trust me it was young.  The moment you realize you are now the adult responsible for the life of a tiny human you’re suddenly not as grown up as you thought. Should that tiny human have huge issues- it’s a whole new ball game with a painful and sleepless learning curve.

The instance of autism in 1999 when boy #1 was born was around 4.5 in 10,000 live births (1). Most people had no idea what autism was.  Even fewer of those people we’re doctors. In 2005 when boy#2 came along (it would seem autism had become standard equipment at this point) the instance was 1 in 110 (2). In 2016 the number is 1 in 68 with boys being 4 times more likely than girls (3).

In 1999 I had never heard if autism,  it was not a word anyone around me knew.  All we did know was something wasn’t right. From the moment he was born he cried,  and steady on for the next 5 months.  I wish I was kidding.  I really do.  It seemed he could not stand light,  sounds,  smells,  people, or  life in general. We we’re thrown out of stores,  restaurants and even family occasions because his need for quiet,  solitary darkness could not be accommodated.  

It didn’t help that he was (and is)  absurdly cute.  Everyone had to stop and look at him and try to pinch his cubby little native cheeks.  That did not go over well for him.  So we stayed home.  Other than his back yard he didn’t go anywhere but therapy for around 2 years.  Home was light, sound and climate controlled. The outside was too much for him. 

As he would say: “A whole lotta”

He saw his first therapist at 3. He would give him Mountain Dew and a cookie before each session.  It calmed him down.  I don’t know if it works for everyone but it’s a trick I still use. The first thing he told me was “Be careful who you leave him with.  He’s the kid who gets abused.” Unfortunately,  he was so very right.  

I don’t know how many we saw with no hope of diagnosis.  Everything from infantile bi-polar to ODD.  When 2 doctors told me that I should prepare for life time care and think about an inpatient situation because he would never be more than an asparagus I said “no”. Just no.  That’s not his future. I refuse.  I thought if they couldn’t see the brilliance and intelligence behind this tiny brown eyes then I would find someone who could.  

Enter our favorite therapist, with whom we stayed for something like 14 years.  She saved his little life… And my hair.  Her name is Dr.  Debra McGraw and she diagnosed him and set us on a path to redemption. Today he is 17, therapy free and on the road to medical school.  How did we go from non verbal ball of energy to the 135 IQ doctor to be?  Two words,  prayer and work. 

My boy and I worked together all day every day and therapy twice a week. Also, scheduled living is a life saver. You live or die by the schedule. Change isn’t good for anyone’s sanity so avoid change where possible. And remember that every moment was a teachable moment. Don’t worry I’ll get to the basics of how we did it exactly a bit later.  

He was homeschooled for all but about a year and after our third bully TEACHER and 2nd Amber Alert we decided homeschooling was the way to go. 

You don’t know fear until your fumbling with pictures to give to a cop and they start talking DNA. He was found in a neighbors yard a while later.  I don’t know how long, time had stopped by that point.  Somehow he had gotten across a highway and was sitting in someones yard. The school who normally kept him in after care somehow lost him. You had one job school!  One job!  

Up to around 5 he was non verbal. Grunts and noises were his go to communication.  One day, after around a year and a half of work he spoke.  We we’re on our way to a new park when he said “Frankly mother I do not believe this is the way to the park I think you have taken a wrong turn.”

I nearly drove off the road.  I had to pull over and collect myself. He just sat there like nothing happened. I then told him we’re we’re going to a new park today. You see,  schedule is life.  The schedule must not change under penalty of death,  or of deafness from the crying that would undoubtedly happen. However,  today I made a slight change and he didn’t cry.  He spoke. 

He didn’t speak again for a few weeks when he said “Father,  I don’t believe you are a good conversationalist and I think you should be quiet”. Again I was near death with laughter. Although,  had I known that was the beginning of the end for their relationship I probably wouldn’t have. 

For a long time he spoke oddly in that weird way.  Then he repeated only movie lines.  Now he speaks solely in memes.  For instance,  the following meme would mean “when’s dinner. ”

To which I would reply :

It works.  We have meme creators and meme wars are a thing for us.  By the way,  this sloth seriously reminds me of him.  He has the same wierd look in his eye.  If an autistic child finds a meaningful way to communicate don’t knock it.  No matter how strange it may seem to you.  Just roll with it.  Who knows it may turn out to be fun. Make everything a game and life will be easier. 

To be continued … … … 

Coming in part 2: (One cookie cutter -different color options) Autistic boy number 2. Also some steps to redemption. 

Sources 

(1) “Changes in the Population of Persons with Autism and Pervasive Developmental Disorders in California’s Developmental Services System: 1987-1998. A Report to the Legislature.” Department of Developmental Services.  March 1, 1999. 

(2) “Prevalence of ASD Disorders.” https://www.CDC.gov/ncbddd/autism/data.HTML. September 26, 2016. 

(3) “Autism Fact Sheet.” http://national autism association.org/resources/autism-fact-sheet/. National Autism Foundation. 2017.